Back on the wagon… again.

I’ve started meditating again. I’m 4 days into daily practice.

I’m craving yoga. I’m craving fresh air. I’m craving sunshine. I’m craving clean eating. I’m craving creativity. I’m craving balance.

This is not what’s supposed to happen, is it? Meditation is supposed to help us engage in the present. Be comfortable in our ‘now’.

In fairness though – I’ve been craving sunshine for a few weeks now. And my regular mental and emotional ‘stock take’ in January, didn’t really happen this year (Mostly because we moved home just before Christmas and so, I was kept busy decorating, settling and enjoying ‘rooting’ us all down) So, maybe this is just my annual process catching up.

Or maybe, daily practice is already bringing about clarity. Clarity of what I need.

Work has been busy and stressful. I have been eating really badly for, I don’t know how long but, a long time. I haven’t practiced yoga since November. I sit at my desk all day with hardly any breaks. I rarely venture out from my home unless dropping the kids off at day care (I work from home). My life is pretty much the opposite of the things I crave…

But, at least daily meditation is a start. Fresh air is easy to get (tea break in the garden anyone?) and I can eat better with a bit of will power. Yoga practice is also within my own gift.

And so the cycle begins again. Onwards and upwards. One day, this will be a way of life and not a wagon I have to keep climbing back on to. But, I’m not going to beat myself up. I am grateful that each time I fall off, I recognise how to help myself a little sooner than the last time. And I am grateful that I am learning.

Namaste x

 

 

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The calm after the storm

February was a crazy month!

A couple of years ago we decided to upsize our home, but with no ready cash and a very stagnant property market we realised it would not be possible. So, we waited patiently, started saving and watched the market until late last year when it started to improve. We figured that the process of looking, buying and moving would take at least 6 months and we wanted to be in a new home by September 2014. So, we put our house up for sale in early February.

In the first week it had a dozen viewings and 3 people offered to buy it. So, we accepted an offer and started to look for ourselves.

Long story short… I sold a house, bought a house, turned 40, had a very glamorous surprise birthday party and even squeezed in city break to Paris all in the space of 12 days.

And now nothing.

I was not prepared for the flurry of activity and the speed with which the first step of the process came and went. And I was even less prepared for the waiting, days on end with nothing happening, in this step.

And so here we are, doing what I do worst… waiting patiently.

Maybe getting back into my daily meditation practice will help.

In the zone

I can finally report that I have managed to make progress on my path towards the life I want to live.

I’ve been “taking ten” regularly. (I suffered another blip after my previous post, but I am now on day 6 and
meditating every day) I also managed to get my Beloved to sign up to a 21 day challenge with Deepak Chopra. A meditative journey to enhance relationships. Which he (my beloved) agrees helps us to take time for each other after a hectic day of work and kids. Erego, can only be a good thing.

I’ve created a Pinterest board for a future yoga studio and have 100 ideas of what that business would look like, what it would offer to it’s customers. I’ve even created a questionnaire on Survey Monkey, to try and assess the appetite for such a business in my area. Granted I’ve only had 10 survey responses but have about 50 posts on my Pinterest board. So, some might say that this pursuit is more of a daydream than an end game.

But, to the doubters, I say, yes I am a dreamer. But that’s OK. For many years I have wanted balance in my life but had no idea what that looked like. Now, though, that vision is beginning to crystallise and every day I take another step closer towards it. I’m in no rush (I have been in the past). Because I am enjoying the journey.

For the first time in my life, I am living in the present and look forward to the future. But I am not desperate for something new, for life to move on, to reach my destination.

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Taking Ten

Once again, the mayhem of day to day life has led me from the path I wish to follow. Or should I say, I have used the mayhem as an excuse.

I haven’t blogged, I haven’t taken advantage of the wonderful sunshine we have been experiencing in the UK these last few weeks, I haven’t attended any yoga classes or generally taken any time for ‘path’ activities.

That’s not entirely true. I watched the Horizon programme (The Truth about Personality) and discovered Andy Puddicombe and Headspace. I was inspired. This guy (a former Buddhist monk) is helping people like me (too busy, too stressed, too unmotivated) a way to improve our lives, ourselves, for free! (well initially), with just 10 minutes per day.

I can manage that, I thought. I promptly downloaded the app and off we went on our short journey; 10 minutes for 10 days… that was 8 days ago. I am ashamed to say that I have not even allowed myself to keep that commitment. Is there any hope for me?

I have excuses abound – We took the kids to Scotland for 3 days for a family wedding (too busy, no time to ourselves and poor internet connection), we slept most of Monday as we were exhausted from said weekend (too tired), then our baby girl got sick, and then we got sick (too poorly). But really, none of these are acceptable. If I had really wanted to I could have made myself available for 10 minutes and to be honest, would have greatly benefited from it.

But, yes. There is still hope.

As Andy says, learning to meditate isn’t necessarily easy. And we all encounter obstacles along the way. The first step is recognising that we have done so and gently bringing ourselves back to where we left off.

And so, on my journey towards self improvement, towards improving my quality of life; this morning, I step back up onto the learning curve and start Day 2. With good intention and positive thoughts in my heart, I shall now embark on Take Tw0 of Take10.