My Birthday Gift

Gosh, I can’t believe it’s been 4 months since I last posted to my blog. I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing.

I guess (I hope) I’ve been busy being present in my life rather than just typing about it. Not that it’s been a bed of roses – life never is. But the best and most beautiful roses need manure to grow, right? And by that, I don’t mean I’ve been standing knee high in poop, haha! It’s just been a rounded experience. It’s just been life.

In 3 days I will be 40 years old.

Those years have gone fast! But, I’m not sad or fearful about my birthday. I’m looking forward to it. I feel that 2014 is our year. And I already feel a sense of freedom. A freedom that I have earned from those 40 years of life; its ups, its downs, its lessons and its joys. A freedom that I unknowingly gifted to myself through acceptance. Acceptance of life, acceptance of humanity, acceptance of myself.

People asked me what presents I wanted for my birthday. After thinking about it, I realised, I want for nothing. I am where I wanted to be when I was 30. I have an amazing partner, I have 2 beautiful kids, a lovely home, a job that affords my life balance, great friends and strong family bonds. In short, I have true love.

What I didn’t realise at 30 was that I wasn’t ready for all of that. Even if I had all of those things 10 years ago, I would not have been happy. Because the glue that holds my world in place is the love I have for myself. And it has taken me more than the last 10 years to achieve that.

It is the greatest gift of all.