Guilty Pleasures

Two things stick in my mind from when I first went on maternity leave; (1) everyone told me to rest… lots… as it would be my last chance and (2) after 2 days of daytime TV I resolved that I would be as active as possible to avoid it numbing my mind completely.

Two things are most prominent in my life now; (1) I’m permanently tired and (2) when my baby girl does sleep, I veg in front of daytime TV!!

I’m not sure which was the chicken and which was the egg, but having caved into spousal pressure some weeks ago and re-investing in Sky TV (including upgrading to HD!!) I am now addicted to E! (no, not the party drug, the Entertainment channel).

Fashion Police, Kimora, Holly’s World, Keeping up with the Kardashians and Kendra… my God! Kendra – she’s my main guilty pleasure.

Who’d have thought an intelligent, overweight, 30-something, brunette from the North end of the UK could relate to Hugh Heffners ex?! But I totally do… the series they are repeating at the moment is the one where Baby Hank is a few months old and Kendra is going through all of the highs and lows that the rest of us first time mums do. Albeit she has a nanny to help and the money to fly to Vegas for a weekend off. Still, I get it. I totally do.

You can imagine how excited I am to see the new series starting this Sunday. A chance to see how my life will turn out when my baby gets a bit older like Baby Hank. Really??? you say… NO! But I am excited. What can I say, I’m addicted to the show now and I think I’ll still get it for a little while yet – probably until I go back to work.

Back to work – what a thought 😦 ugh! dreading it. I foresee major separation anxiety and paranoia about whether my brain works again. Even pre-Kendra, I’m sure I lost a bit of my brain when I gave birth. Now post-Kendra… well, I’ll leave that to your imagination…

So there you have it – confession of a first time mum, on maternity leave in the cold rainy North of England (yes, the weather is just an excuse and no, I’m not convinced either that I wouldn’t do it if it were summertime). My guilty pleasure. Roll on Sunday… Go Kendra! Go Kendra! You’re not alone now….

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Today, I blog!

Today, I blog again…

My beautiful little girl is nearly 9 weeks old and the last 9 weeks have been the best and the worst of my life. People tell you it’s the hardest and the best job in the world (being a parent) and they’re right!

I once blogged about how overwhelmed with unconditional love I was for my little furball when he came into our lives. But my love for my baby girl is a gazillion times stronger than that. I could never have imagined it until the first time I looked at her.

Still now, every time I look at her, even when I’m at my lowest ebb; having had no sleep for days and she’s been screaming her little lungs out for what seems like hours (she has colic), all I can think of is that she is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. How amazing she is and how lucky I am to have her. I miss her even when I’m just in the other room.

And my love, respect and admiration for my Beloved has grown too. Don’t get me wrong there have been times when the tiredness has presented, let’s call them, significant challenges. But I could not have delivered her without his fortitude. I would not have survived the baby blues or my battle with breastfeeding without his love and support. And I have grown as a person by learning to let him (and my friends and my family) help me.

She is definitely Daddy’s little girl! He brought her into this world with his own hands and she’s had him wrapped around her little finger ever since. But that is a good thing. He will love her and protect her forever, we both will.

Our family has grown and will hopefully continue to grow… although, I’m not sure where we’ll put them. This one tiny little girl has accumulated so much stuff in 9 weeks, we already need a bigger house. How is that possible?!