I felt my first flutters about 2 weeks ago… They were very faint and at first I wasn’t sure that it was actually my baby I could feel (thought it might be wind… not unusual for me these days unfortunately!). But in the last 3 days little Strawbug hasn’t stopped dancing! So now I know that’s exactly what I felt 2 weeks ago. It’s the weirdest feeling, but humbling and trully amazing (I know, I use that word a lot when it comes to Strawbug!).
My beloved was almost in tears the other evening (in his defence, he had drank a couple of glasses of wine). He told me that he can’t wait to be able to feel (from the outside) what I can feel (on the inside). It’s kind of nice that, for now, it’s just me and Strawbug sharing these moments together… but I feel a little sad that my beloved is “left out”. So, I’ve been thinking a lot these last 2 days about how I can include him more in something that’s happening inside of me…
It’s difficult, because I can’t help him to feel what I’m physically feeling (though I do a pretty good job of helping him feel how I’m mentally and emotionally feeling! poor thing!). And I know I’m not the first mum-to-be who has felt this way. As always, my research for this blog started with the obvious google search; which led me to this post on peainthepodcast.com and many other blogs and articles which recommend taking your partner along to classes, to ultrasound scan, buying him (or her) books for the daddy (or mummy) to be, who isn’t carrying the child. These are all great tips. But my beloved is already very involved in all of these ways and I still feel like he’s missing out.
I love my partner with all of my heart and more… we share just about everything (come on, it wouldn’t be healthy to share 100% of your lives!). And I desperately want him to share this.
The other big piece of advice on offer is talking. Talk to your partner. Tell him/her what’s going on. Refer to the pregnancy experience as a joint experience, answer questions with “we” instead of “I” or “me”. And talking is good, talking is great… though my beloved will tell you that I have a tendancy to talk too much! But it still doesn’t help him experience it the way I am experiencing it.
So how do I really share this pregnancy with him, as fully as I want to? Maybe the answer is, I don’t… or more likely, I can’t.
Any ideas you guys have though, would be greatly appreciated! Please leave a comment…